I look at myself and i see a happy girl. And im sure everyone knows that too. But i also know some things that you dont know. Its purely sad and confused.
Just because i always smile it dosent mean that im happy
Just because i always laugh it dosent mean that im enjoying
Just because i always make corny jokes i live a funny life
Just because i seem like i dont care, i dont care at all.
Because maybe if you look closer.. then you'll see the tears deep within my eyes.
But i also know that im not the only one feeling this way
And its so selfish for me to think of myself everyday.
Thats the reason why i give smiles and laughs and jokes all the time.
Because i know that im not the only one hurting and that there are more people who need me out there. My problems can wait.
Because even if it will take forever to help you solve your problems.
I won't stop to think of mine.
You need me more than i need myself.
And thats why i love you.
Never underestimate the pain of a person because the truth is everyone is struggling. It's just some people hide it better than others.
- Location:deep within my heart
- Mood:
crushed - Music:wind beneath my wings
Dancing on christmas day honestly hurts :)) especially when your not well concentrated.
And you have 5 shows with the whole theatre packed full.
The theatre can fit 3000 people.... so there were probably 15,000 people or more in star city that day.
And we had 5 shows at 3, 5, 7, 9 and 11 in the night :)) super fun
But i mean. who the hell would want to celebrate christmas in STAR CITY?
dude thats just a waste of time...
I mean honestly... why would you want to do that?
So anyway by the 4th show my toes were hurting :))
and by the 5th they were already giving in. :P
so we got sermoned again for the way we performed on the last show :) whoops.
I just hope there are lesser shows today... i really do wish it.
lets just all pray and hope the shows are lesser :))
Anyway i wanna rest. Im already dying =))
or maybe my toes are?...? :))
Dancing on christmas? dont try it.... :))
- Location:playing chess with my brother :))
- Mood: tired
- Music:last christmas...
And i actually thought i escaped that whole infatuation stage when i was first year. Figured i was wrong.
Shoot.
Its supposed to be impossible. I mean sure we cant change the way we feel RIGHT?
But i mean he's like the best friend of you know who... shoot **
Im not supposed to feel this way.
Now i just sound stupid im talking to myself. oh wow.
To think that this Christmas im so busy. 2 days can actually change everything.
I mean it feels good to be you know... ah what the h. am i talking about. im not making any sense.
Is it a sign that i saw him 2 days straight? and that he has the same name as another person i know
I mean. Do i really think i even have the slightest possibility of getting to know him.
And were not even close. And we werent close back then either.
Oh shoot. no wonder i hated this feeling. Its a really stressing and confusing feeling.
I really cant do this right now. I mean i have christmas shows tom. im going to be all stressed.
And the only thing that SHOULD be on my mind is dancing. But no... this time it wont be just that.
I mean i always thought that it would be impossible to feel this way again after the first times.
I also promised myself not to feel that way again about anyone until its the right one.
And i think this time ive really done it.
I mean i used to say i hated him. I said mean things about him and now wth am i doing.
talking about him???!!!
Ok calm down... breathe
its just infatuation... i hope
But how can i breathe when he's all i can picture in my head.
I just love his hair and the way he talks and offers you a ride home.
Or the fact that he's just so nice makes me all weak like i could fall off balance any moment.
Oh cut it..... stop talking about him!!!! shit.
i just feel so AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
to break something.....
It shall, it must and it will be ok tom.... i just hope i can live that long.
Somebody i think i need help.....
why the hell am i talking to myslef. :(
- Location:alone by the computer.
- Mood:
confused - Music:All i want for christmas is you.....
I dont know how im supposed to pull this off.
The shows are on 7,8 and 9 and those shows are ok. But i have
a BIG problem with the shows on 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16... because obviously i have exams
on the 17th 18th and the 19th. wah.
But i cant just skip this. Its so important to me.
And dont give me crap about how important school is because I LOVE what i do.
And i do really LOVE to dance. like so much.
Anyway. God help me.
So today i screwed up on the last pose. SHIT.
I kinda fell out of balance and it was going so perfectly when i slipped.
GAH!
remind me someday to burn those evil pointe shoes :)) . kidding.
Anyway its just one mistake right?
I hope no one really noticed it.
Theres still next week to make bawi to anyway.
So this whole week i have rehersals till like 9 or 10 so wish me luck.
And i so really need to start studying for exams if i want to pass them.
:)) which i do.
So time to study study study
especially for chem.
Thats all. :D
- Location:at home
- Mood: tired
- Music:beautiful girls... jojo
Frog: what does my future hold?
Fairy: you will meet someone very soon who will want to know everything about you
Frog: when will i meet her?
Fairy: today. in biology class. :)
haha. ang kulit ng joke.
- Location:home alone. :))
- Mood:
crazy - Music:candy man :O
:) hello friends.
- Location:watching spider man 3 on dvd :)
- Mood: bored
- Music:how deep is your love.
Anyway. Have a fun summer!
- Location:watching tv with my brother
- Mood:
shocked - Music:you say it best when you say nothing at all :)
I feel so bored/angry..
Bored: because there is nothing to do.
Angry: because of my brother again.
And today. i prefer not to speak to him. Im going to lock myself into my room again and just sit down and watch tv all day long :)) just like yesterday. It really sucks to have a younger brother. he's just ANNOYING.
Its a good thing that he's leaving for Baguio tom. haha. with my grandparents. :)) hahahha..
** OCEANA **
- Location:watching TV :)
- Mood:
annoyed - Music:colors of the wind
Nothing to do today. so i watched harry potter and i started this new puzzle that my mom got me.
Thats it i guess... my blueberry muffins got burnt. ohh well.. :))
XOXO ** Mercury ** XOXO
- Location:running over the sky
- Mood:
blank - Music:how do i live w/o you!? :))
And i think its jam :)) :P
This afternoon.. i baked some brownies!! :)) yay.. all by myself! and tomorrow blueberry muffins!! :P i feel so good... :)) yeah right.. professional daw eh no.. actually its the instant mix stuff.... :| haha ... which anyone can do. haha
My moms going to look for a job for me!! :)) haha.. she says it might involve "
Anyway my name for today is sapphire.. and each day im giving myself a name! :)) it depends on my mood. :) im such a weird person.. :)) i know right.? :P
So anyway.. whoever you are thanks for listening!
Voir que vous chronomètre après ! au revoir !
XOXO ** Sapphire ** XOXO
- Location:whistling along... with all the songs :)) hey! it rhymes!!
- Mood:
cheerful - Music:Aqua songs :)) haha...(feeling kiddie)
It was super empty with no people at all... and thanks to those weird friends my parents got angry at me.
Because:
1. They wanted to go to that other party in TeckTite
2. One of those friends got SUPER drunk
3. They kept on complaining and complaining to me that they wanted to leave the party.
HA HA... lets see... should we call them friends or just acquaintances? because they were so annoying the whole night... I'm the one who gave the ride and i even invited them for dinner! so why don't they just "SHUT UP" and appreciate that i even went with them to that totally BORING party and even brought them there.
And as for my punishment... i have to pay for the overtime of my driver.. GREAT... now that i have no allowance at all.. they want me to pay for his overtime...
- Location:....
- Mood: crushed
- Music:the evil friends....
What ive done for the past 3 weeks:
1. I put that new design on the door
2. I have a new hobby, "sewing" making skirts with mom.
3. I got my highlights.... (its not much, my dad dosen't like pastel colors)
4. I fixed my multiply.. yay.. check it out...
honestly i havent done much for the past weeks, i just wanted to update my LJ coz the last time i did it was 4 months ago?
And i think im getting my piercings today?
Well i have this 2 week break from ballet... and i really think i deserve it... :) so hopefully i get enough rest...
Anyway... thats all i've got to say..
avoir un jour agréable (have a nice day)
- Location:on a tree...
- Mood: crazy
- Music:cartoon heroes :))
I cured it yay!!
So i finished all the Korean telenovelas that i've been watching with my lola for i think 3 days now.
and my dad in a way is still a fan of OTH when im a fan of OC.
But im forced to watch the whole series that we bought from the dvd lady.
Today wasn't so boring.
since at 9 am i think we left for rockwell. and it was really FUN since no one was really around. and nothing was open except for the insanely large beautiful bookstore! :P
and i finished reading another book. so thats 7 now :)
But i have a feeling that the mass tonight will make the day boring.
its like 5 hours and 7 mins more till christmas!!
- Location:upstairs
- Mood: content
- Music:jingle bell rock (stuck in my head)
My lola gave me this korean telenovela last monday to watch and since theres nothing to do i guess i just watched and watched.
Its all so sweet
so i guess this christmas break will be spent with another set of tissue boxes
reading love stories and watching korean telenovelas thats all what im going to be doing.
My moms gonna be laughing alot at me again i guess.
well its fun to cry and laugh. but sometimes it just gets weird when you do it everyday.
Anyway i just hope that the break is over soon since Christmas break does make me fat! :))
:) Viola (Lina)
- Location:floating around love :))
- Mood:
okay - Music:love.. love.. love.. love.. love
Ok so once again christmas break is here!! and im bored at home doing nothing. Except for reading books that make me cry and laugh. And watching the traditional harry potter every day with my grandma. (from Japan)
The gifts are coming and the money's pouring in! lets all celebrate together the end and the beggining of a new year.
But theres one thing i hate about new years. We keep growing older and older. (but hopefully grow taller too)
oh well so thats life.
have fun everyone and have a merry christmas and a happy new year!
Lina (but i wish my name was VIOLA right now. dunno why?)
- Location:singing at home
- Mood:
excited - Music:cant take my eyes of you
i feel so bad and ive only had 5 hours of sleep because i can stop crying... I dont know how im going to get through this week. Its bad enough that im having my ballet show right before exams.... and now theres going to be more things thats going to bother me this weekend.
Even if a day had passed since that horrible incident.
I cant stop thingking about it because i can feel that something that is close to me had gone away. Which of course is true.
I just hope that i can go on this weekend because even when im not thinking about it i start to cry and have weird flashbacks that make me cry even more.
I cant watch tv because it wont cheer me up. I cant eat because i dont feel hungry anymore (this is the first time ive really rejected food) and i cant sleep, i cant breathe properly, i cant think properly (cant really study even if im done with the english reviewer) and most of all i cant talk to anyone at home because im too sad.
anyway thanks for reading. And i hope that something can cheer me up.
END
- Location:crying in front of the computer
- Mood: i feel horrible
- Music:sad songs...
i hate this... theres nothing to do. And on the 31st ill have to go with my cousin to go trick or treating in phil am.
ohhh well...
all ive been doing is watching movies / disney movies and its getting really boring
ohh well got to go hunt this person down
END :)
- Location:buy tickets now!
- Mood: bored
- Music:nana(* 8) BATMAN!! batman.. batman..
So today was our confirmation.. yipee.. And today was also the day that i finished reading the book.. :)) yay again...
Now that im done with everything.. I dont know what to do at all.. :| ohhh how sad for me.......
In fact im so bored that after i read that book i just sat in my room thinking about all the details.. ((weird)) i felt stupid so now i decided to go to the computer and type. The only problem is that the internet cuts at times, so now i have to type fast.
too bad we ddnt take a pic kanina :( charley &mica.. i saw mica but i ddnt see charley :( wahhh.. ohhh well
so anyway to end the end of this entry.
END
- Location:in front of the computer
- Mood: curious
- Music:something sad??
- Location:at home
- Mood: crazy
- Music:lalallalalallalal
ohhh no!! my science things tom... I dont wanna do that CYSTIC FIBROSIS thing
i hate it i dont wanna do my speech even if i dont have a choice... ohhh well
im bored: watching pocahontas again... and i feel so stupid i thought that
POWHATAN was pocahontas' tribe but it wasn't, it was
the name of the chief, pocahontas' father... GRAR..
- Location:computer
- Mood: bitchy
- Music:colors of the wind
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